I don't want to grow up!!!!!!

Its one heck of a thing to grow up!!!!A part of me always wants to be a child, carefree and innocent. But with each passing day I am forced to grow up. And with growing up is associated the lessons that the silent teacher – Experience - teaches you.

Have your ever observed two children playing?? They will happily play with dust. And they will truly enjoy doing it. They know of only one human emotion and that is Love. They might not be wearing anything and still not feel awkward about it. It’s hard to believe that just a few years ago I too enjoyed in similar fashion.

I sometimes wonder where I lost that innocence, that joy, that carefree attitude, that feeling of nothing is impossible (During my childhood, I thought that if a Truck or lorry Mows you down, you don't die, you just become flat – Just like in cartoons) … I wonder when in this rush of “Growing up” I lost those treasures. I wonder why we become more and more miserable and cynic as we grow up. Logically speaking, it should be the other way round. We should be born foolish, ego centric and fearful but grow up into Wise, non egoistic and fearless. Strange is the way the world works.

Now as grown up adults, one look around you and you see paranoid people. Keep two people together and sooner then later ego starts building up, a struggle is always there to gain upper hand over someone else. In the grown up world, the buzzword is – survival of the fittest. There is always an underlying meaning that if you got to win, someone else has to loose. How very annoying.

At one point of time, I thought that you always have to be Mr. Goodie good with everyone. I felt that if you did good to someone, it is but natural that only good can happen to you. But slowly I begin to know that this is not the case. I came to know that it is impossible to keep everyone happy at the same time. It’s impossible to be Mr. Goodie Good to everyone. I came to know that if you are too innocent, you will be taken for a ride and people will stamp over you to meet their own greedy ends. This has made me more rigid, this forces me to sometimes behave in a way which I am not. This is the lesson that experience has thought me – This is knowledge.

It is said that initially Adam and Eve were fearless, happy and devoid of any human emotions apart from pure Love. Then Eve tasted the fruit of knowledge and made Adam to eat it too. By eating the fruit of knowledge, Adam and Eve became fearful, unhappy and first time felt negative human emotions like Pain, ego, shy (In fact this feeling of shyness made them to cover their body)…

By growing up and with experience, are we not – knowingly or unknowingly – are we not tasting the fruit knowledge? Are we not running away from our true self? Are we not experiancing more and more negitive human emotions with each passing year? Isn’t the world of grown up’s more bad then that of children?

And if the answer to all the above question is YES… then naturally, should we taste this fruit of knowledge in the first place? What will happen if we insist on not growing up and being a child? Many people will even call these questions stupid and probably won’t even give it a second thought…

The road ahead is long and I still have to travel a long long long way, even to understand why I am on this road in the first place :-)